Fic- "Slouching Towards Bethlehem
May. 3rd, 2008 04:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ficinabottleOk, people. Here it is. My first attempt to write (fan-fic or anything) in the last three years. Be gentle.
Btw, Ben Linus' mind is a nice place to visit but not sure if I want to live there.
Title- "Slouching Towards Bethlehem"
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. 'S Okay. Don't have room for them.
Summary and Spoilers 4X9 and before. Ben realizes things don't always work.
Authors Notes and Acknowledgements: The lines from are from "The Second Coming" by W. B. Yeats. It was in a dream I had in relation to this past episode, and one of my favorites, so I decided to give it to Ben and Alex.
Thanks to this wonderful community. And to Mssrs. Abrams, Carlton, and Cruise. And of course, to Mr. Emerson.
Ok, deep breath. Here goes.
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer
It started out as an ordinary day, if a day here can ever be ordinary. It was quiet at any rate, no one asking me any questions, no one looking for answers, for once there wasn't a feeling of impending doom in the air. So I took a little time to just sit at the piano and play. Not worry, not think, not plan. That was my first mistake.
Then came the questions, the panic, the fear. I'm used to it in others, not myself. And admitting it to John made it worse not better. But, I still thought I had things under control, even as I saw Alex on her knees, heard her begging for my help. I could handle this. I'd done it before. And it always worked. If you spoke softly, reasonably to somebody, tried to convince them that you had a viable alternative, it didn't matter how base their nature was, it would almost guarantee that they'd at least listen to you, that you had a chance to resolve the situation in your favor. That's what had happened before, always. That was my second mistake.
Things fall apart, the center cannot hold
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
It's not strange, but definitely ironic, that the words of Yeats' poem are running through my mind as I kneel beside my daughter's body. She always preferred that I read her poetry at bedtime instead of children's stories, and this was one of her favorites. She said she enjoyed the imagery, but I told myself she liked the way I read it, in a low ominous tone. I brush back her hair, and gently close her eyes. Oh, Alex. The last words you heard me say were a lie. I hope, wherever you are now, you know the truth, the things I didn't tell you often enough. I'm sorry. That was my third mistake.
The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity...
I didn't spend too much time saying goodbye to Alex, but I didn't exactly race to rejoin John and the others either. Of course, when I reached them, I expected to have their guns pointed in my direction. As I've learned today, it's best not to assume anything about the island or me, for that matter.
I was suprised by John's condolences. Of course, he had to immediately follow that with one of his usual questioning accusations. I didn't mind. He did me a favor as a matter of fact. There is no time now to get caught up in grief. Maybe later, when things are clearer, when I'm feeling better if we get to sleep at all. In the meantime it's better to channel the grief into action, and maybe anger.
And I understand John's mistrust, after all that's happened. Still, he chooses to stay with me. I know he has his reasons.
It was expected that James wants no part of my plans. I am concerned about he and Miles heading back to the beach together, they do have some things in common. Still, James has progressed since he's been here. He's come to see there are people outside of his own purposes and gains. It's probably best to let them go-for now.
I was suprised when Hugo agreed to stay with us, though. I don't think he trusts John or myself, and his decision may just have been a way to avoid further bloodshed. It's been a while since I believed that there was anyone in the world who possesses a truly pure heart. Hugo's shown me otherwise, and I'd like to see him stay that way. Time will tell.
We have to move away from here . It's just a matter of time until Keamy and his men regroup, and we have to find Jacob's cabin, so, that according to John, 'he can tell me what to do next'. Which of the three of us he'll speak to, is another matter entirely. John is asking me which way we should go with the same mixture of mistrust and resignation that I've grown used to, and maybe even fond of. It's time to go. No more mistakes.
"Follow me".
Btw, Ben Linus' mind is a nice place to visit but not sure if I want to live there.
Title- "Slouching Towards Bethlehem"
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. 'S Okay. Don't have room for them.
Summary and Spoilers 4X9 and before. Ben realizes things don't always work.
Authors Notes and Acknowledgements: The lines from are from "The Second Coming" by W. B. Yeats. It was in a dream I had in relation to this past episode, and one of my favorites, so I decided to give it to Ben and Alex.
Thanks to this wonderful community. And to Mssrs. Abrams, Carlton, and Cruise. And of course, to Mr. Emerson.
Ok, deep breath. Here goes.
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer
It started out as an ordinary day, if a day here can ever be ordinary. It was quiet at any rate, no one asking me any questions, no one looking for answers, for once there wasn't a feeling of impending doom in the air. So I took a little time to just sit at the piano and play. Not worry, not think, not plan. That was my first mistake.
Then came the questions, the panic, the fear. I'm used to it in others, not myself. And admitting it to John made it worse not better. But, I still thought I had things under control, even as I saw Alex on her knees, heard her begging for my help. I could handle this. I'd done it before. And it always worked. If you spoke softly, reasonably to somebody, tried to convince them that you had a viable alternative, it didn't matter how base their nature was, it would almost guarantee that they'd at least listen to you, that you had a chance to resolve the situation in your favor. That's what had happened before, always. That was my second mistake.
Things fall apart, the center cannot hold
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
It's not strange, but definitely ironic, that the words of Yeats' poem are running through my mind as I kneel beside my daughter's body. She always preferred that I read her poetry at bedtime instead of children's stories, and this was one of her favorites. She said she enjoyed the imagery, but I told myself she liked the way I read it, in a low ominous tone. I brush back her hair, and gently close her eyes. Oh, Alex. The last words you heard me say were a lie. I hope, wherever you are now, you know the truth, the things I didn't tell you often enough. I'm sorry. That was my third mistake.
The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity...
I didn't spend too much time saying goodbye to Alex, but I didn't exactly race to rejoin John and the others either. Of course, when I reached them, I expected to have their guns pointed in my direction. As I've learned today, it's best not to assume anything about the island or me, for that matter.
I was suprised by John's condolences. Of course, he had to immediately follow that with one of his usual questioning accusations. I didn't mind. He did me a favor as a matter of fact. There is no time now to get caught up in grief. Maybe later, when things are clearer, when I'm feeling better if we get to sleep at all. In the meantime it's better to channel the grief into action, and maybe anger.
And I understand John's mistrust, after all that's happened. Still, he chooses to stay with me. I know he has his reasons.
It was expected that James wants no part of my plans. I am concerned about he and Miles heading back to the beach together, they do have some things in common. Still, James has progressed since he's been here. He's come to see there are people outside of his own purposes and gains. It's probably best to let them go-for now.
I was suprised when Hugo agreed to stay with us, though. I don't think he trusts John or myself, and his decision may just have been a way to avoid further bloodshed. It's been a while since I believed that there was anyone in the world who possesses a truly pure heart. Hugo's shown me otherwise, and I'd like to see him stay that way. Time will tell.
We have to move away from here . It's just a matter of time until Keamy and his men regroup, and we have to find Jacob's cabin, so, that according to John, 'he can tell me what to do next'. Which of the three of us he'll speak to, is another matter entirely. John is asking me which way we should go with the same mixture of mistrust and resignation that I've grown used to, and maybe even fond of. It's time to go. No more mistakes.
"Follow me".
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Date: 2008-05-03 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-03 10:54 pm (UTC)Here's how to do an LJ-cut:
http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=75
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Date: 2008-05-03 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-04 01:15 am (UTC)