Skate - "Lord of the Ring"

[sirius-starr.livejournal.com]

Title: Lord of the Ring
Author/Artist: Dani sirius_starr
Character/Pairing: Kate / Sawyer (LOST)
Disclaimer: LOST/Bad Robot/ABC is not mine/affiliated with me.
Prompt Table: My chart
Prompt: Written for 25_foods 008. Butter
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Sexual references, images...
Word Count: 2360
Author’s Notes: Okay so this is completely CRACK fic... and set ahead in the future, after the LOST island... Kate and Sawyer are in an established relationship, living together, etc. Enjoy! =D



"I can't fucking believe this." Sawyer muttered in frustration to himself, clenching his teeth in mild pain and irritation. He tried again, but it still wouldn't budge. Sawyer's face reddened in pain, anger and embarrassment, even though he was the only one in the room. Oh, Kate was going to laugh about this for years if she ever found out... which Sawyer prayed she never did. Sawyer gritted his teeth and walked back and forth, wincing, trying his hardest to free himself, dread washing over him as he realized what a crappy situation he was in.

Kate was wandering lazily between the cupboard and the fridge, trying to decide what she wanted for supper. Sawyer was still in the bedroom, doing God knows what, as he had been for the last twenty minutes. She was starting to get annoyed; he was supposed to help her make supper... was he stalling on purpose to pass off his share of the work to her? She sighed and pushed a jar of spaghetti aside, looking behind it to see if there was anything interesting. Her head jerked up as she heard a crash from the general direction of the bedroom, a slight tinkling of glass.

"What the hell was that!?" she yelled down the hallway, wondering what the hell Sawyer had gotten into. She heard a grunt from him, one that mingled frustration and something else, a note of panic, if her ears interpreted correctly. "Sawyer?" she called, her voice not as harsh this time. "Something wrong?" she asked, walking down the hallway. She could hear soft thumps, like someone was hopping around, and she furrowed her brows, wondering what the hell was going on. Just as Kate was almost at the door, it slammed, startling her. "What the? Sawyer?! What the hell are you doing in there?!" She called, knocking on the door with her fist.

"Nothin'. I'll be out in a minute!" he called, trying to keep his voice casual, his face a picture of panic. "Go make me a sandwich?" he asked, trying to make it sound cute and convincing, but in his panic it came out demanding. Kate frowned, an eyebrow raising.

"Make it your damn self!" she snapped, not taking well to being ordered around. She turned and walked back into the kitchen, annoyed. She began rifling through the cupboard again, ignoring the thumps from the other room.

Back in the bedroom, Sawyer was mentally kicking himself. Not only was he in this stupid, ridiculous position, now he'd also pissed Kate off... He looked down, wincing... not to mention the broken lamp. He sighed and looked down at the problem again. He'd done everything he could think of... except...

A moment later he walked into the kitchen, a slight waddle to his step. Kate was peering into the depths of the cupboard, her back to him, but even then he could still feel her irritation.

"Umm... Kate?" he asked meekly, trying to sound innocent, attempting to make up for sounding like he'd been ordering her around; he knew she hated that, that she was too independent to want to take orders.

"What?" she asked, her voice flat and uninterested, not turning to face him. Sawyer gulped, trying to think how to word what he wanted.

"Did you buy any butter when you got the groceries earlier?" he asked, keep his voice carefully casual, trying not to arouse suspicion. He would have just looked himself, but he didn't know if she'd bought any. No dice on the suspicious count; Kate turned to look at him, her eyebrow raised slightly.

"Why do you want butter?" she asked slowly, looking at him like he was crazy. Her eyes looked up and down his body, and suddenly she noticed the way he was standing. "Why are you hunched like that?" she asked, frowning, noticing his legs were slightly bent.

"I... umm... no reason..." he stammered nervously, a completely uncharacteristic thing for him to do. Clearly Kate knew this as well and the tiniest hint of a smile crept over her lips as she realized he was extremely embarrassed about something.

"What exactly are you not telling me?" she asked, trying not to smile, knowing that would make him more reluctant to talk. Sawyer shifted uncomfortably, trying to subtly shift his man parts to make it more comfortable... a not-so subtle move which Kate, of course, noticed. "... what did you do?!" Kate asked, a slight grin starting to form on her lips, unable to stop it as she glanced from his middle region back to his face, seeing a deep blush forming there.

"I.. can you just answer my question?!" Sawyer asked, a note of desperation in his voice. Kate looked at him suspiciously, half of the forming grin still on her face, and nodded.

"Yeah, I bought some." she said, turning back to the cupboard and taking it out. "But if you want it? You gotta tell me what's up." Sawyer cringed at her choice of words and glanced down before looking back at her, his eyes pleading her to give him a break. She grinned and shook her head, holding the butter out of his reach, her eyes twinkling mischievously. He sighed. Sawyer knew she was about to get a laugh that would keep her giggling for a very long time. This all looked quite bad for him, but at least she wouldn't be mad at him anymore.

"Fine... well... ya know how ya... umm... at that store... you were lookin' at... those metal rings..." Sawyer trailed off, his cheeks bright red, as Kate stared at him, the grin starting to widen as she jumped ahead, beginning to piece everything together. Sawyer continued anyway, determinedly not looking at her face. "Well I bought one... an'... I, uh... got the wrong size..." He stopped talking as she burst out into laughter, the highly amused sound echoing around the room and in his head, making him blush deeper as he watched her.

"You're... You're stuck aren't you!?!?" She gasped through a fit of giggles, clasping her hand over her mouth, attempting and failing to stop her laughter. He sighed, looked down, decided he couldn't deny it and nodded, to her grand amusement. She shrieked with laughter and nearly fell over, clutching her stomach as she laughed and giggled away. She trailed off after a moment, still grinning widely, looking at his disgruntled, embarrassed face.

"Its not funny." Sawyer said pathetically. Kate let out a small, sympathetic noise, but failed to suppress a small fit of giggles seconds later, leaving Sawyer with a 'hmph' look on his face. "Seriously Freckles, this is not a laughing matter." he insisted. Kate raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah okay, its a laughing matter to you but can ya laugh it up later please?!" He pleaded. Kate grinned.

"Alright, alright. We can figure this out. Are you sure you want to use butter?" Kate asked, her grin not fading in the least, though she was trying to help him. "It might make you..." she broke off with a giggle. "I don't know... oily?" she grinned at him, her eyes sparkling. Sawyer sighed.

"Are you having fun, Freckles?" he asked with a deadpan look. She nodded.

"Oh you know it." she agreed, laughing, her bright grin not fading a hint. "Anyway, let's get going... Lemme see." she told him, waiting. He hesitated. "What, suddenly you don’t want me to see you?" she teased. "Are you shy now?" she asked, giggling. Kate sauntered over to him, running a hand down over his chest, over his stomach, all the way down to his middle area, laughing softly as he gasped slightly from her touch. "Or do I have to do it for you?" she whispered, her grin finally fading as she set the butter down behind them, pressing herself into his side, her fingers fiddling with the button on his jeans. Sawyer swallowed thickly and didn't answer, knowing Kate would take charge if she wanted to.

Sure enough, Kate's fingers nimbly undid the button on his pants, and Sawyer shivered as she slowly pulled down the zipper, the warmth of her body pressed against his side still, her other hand laying gently on his back. Her hand softly ghosted over the thin fabric of his boxers right over top of the problematic area, making him shiver and shudder at the same time, in ecstasy and pain. Her soft laugh at his reaction made his heart leap, and he let her pull down his jeans and boxers slowly and sensually without so much as a sound.

His heart pounded as she examined the ring, almost shy to have her looking at him so closely, but keeping his cool all the same. Kate was attempting to keep down her fit of giggles that desperately wanted to emerge as her eyes raked the sensitive area around the ring.

"Wow. Its really red." she commented. "Does it hurt?" she touched it gently, giggling as Sawyer took a step back with a slight gasp. "I'll take that as a yes." she giggled as he glared at her.

"Be careful, Freckles!" he exclaimed, swatting the back of her head somewhat playfully. "Its a sensitive area, ya know?" Kate grinned at him.

"Really? Wasn't aware of that one..." Kate giggled and ducked as he tried to swipe her in the back of the head again and missed, ironically almost hitting himself after he'd just told her to be careful. "Alright... Let's try the butter then..." she grinned, quite enjoying this. Not only did she get to giggle and laugh at him to his face, she also got to tease him sensually, in a particularly extreme way. Kate pulled open the wrapper to the butter, carefully pulling some of the thick, oily substance off of the block, looking up at Sawyer's face. His expression was a mix of dread and anticipation, and it was utterly priceless. Kate wished she had her camera, but she was nice enough not to torture him by taking a picture that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Pulling a slightly disgusted face, Kate spread the butter in a semi-thick, even layer over her fingers, the oily spread all over her skin. It felt weird, but it was going to be worth it to see the look on Sawyer's face.

"You ready?" she asked, trying to sound seductive as she tried to battle the giggles out of her tone. He sighed, looked down at her amused face, and nodded, his stance stiffening slightly. Kate grinned and carefully reached forward, wanting her first touch to tease him, rather than getting down to the actual job right away. "Just relax..." she whispered to him, grinning at the completely deadpan look that he shot her. Oh how he hated her at that very second. She ran her fingers slowly and gently over his skin, somehow managing to stifle her laughter as she heard his sharp gasp of pleasure, she presumed, since she wasn't near the affected area yet. Deciding she should try to remove it and then tease him, she set to work, spreading the oily butter onto his flesh, giggling periodically as he gasped, simultaneously in pain and full of pleasure. She spread the butter around each side of the ring, wincing in sympathy as his gasps were just pained, imagining the reddened skin hurt quite a lot. Once she was satisfied there was enough butter, she wiped her hands on a towel (not very successfully) and began to wiggle the ring.

"Ow! Dammit Freckles be careful!!!" he moaned, trying to pull away.

"Ah ah ah!" she scolded, lightly slapping the side of his bare thigh, making him stay still. She bit her tongue as she concentrated, all awkwardness and giggles gone as she focused. She wiggled it gently, trying to pull it away from the spot where it was stuck. Once it was on the butter, she'd be able to slip it off no problem, but it was being resistant.

"Kate... it hurts..." he groaned, clutching the counter tightly with his fist. She nodded and kept trying. Finally she felt it give a bit.

"I got it!" she said triumphantly, finally managing to maneuver it onto the buttered skin. She slipped it off easily after that, standing up and grinning as he sighed in relief, handing him the ring. "Have we learned our lesson now?" she asked teasingly, the situation becoming extremely amusing again now that he wasn't in pain. He sighed and gave her a 'don't-antagonize-me' look, but humored her with a nod. "That's right. When buying sex toys, if you have to have a wrong size, bigger is always better than smaller." She concluded, grinning from ear to ear. Sawyer shook his head again, glancing down at himself. Kate giggled. "Polysporin will help, hun." she said, still grinning but patting him gently on the arm. "So..." she said, glancing down at him and then back at his face. "You gonna put it away?" she giggled, still severely amused.

Sawyer shook his head one last time, the humiliation fading quickly as he watched her giggle. Oh, he was going to get her back. He wasn't sure how, but someday he'd get revenge for the utter enjoyment she'd gotten out of his discomfort. For now though, he wanted to do something to please them both. While she was still giggling, not paying attention to what he was doing, he reached out and grasped her hips, pushing her back into the island counter in the middle of the kitchen. She gasped in surprise, her giggles ceasing as she looked up into the fiery look in his eyes.

"Sawyer, what--" she began, but he cut her off with a firm, deep kiss, their tongues passionately clashing. He pulled away after a moment, both of the breathless, Kate looked up in awe at the passion that had just leeched out of him.

"Just relax..." he whispered, mischievousness and devilishness flickering in his eyes. Kate gulped, having a feeling she knew exactly what she was in for as his fingers began to skillfully undo her jeans....



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